“My husband 27/M left me 26/F at a friend’s cabin in the woods.”
My husband and I visited our friend’s cabin for a celebration. My husband is more of an introvert and I am more of an extrovert, especially when it comes to being around our close friends who I’ve known for many years.
He was brought into our friend group about 3 years ago and that’s how we met. We’ve been together for 1.5 years now. We arrived at the cabin early and when everyone else started to arrive, including the hosts of the cabin, he started to get very quiet and reserved.
He doesn’t usually like larger group settings but this was just a group of our 10 mutual friends that we’ve known for years, no one new or different. On Saturday morning, he said that he wanted to take my car to go skiing on the mountain before everyone woke up. I thought that sounded like a great idea for him to get some exercise and do something he really enjoyed.
He left early in the morning and said he’d be back by 12-1pm. 12pm turned into 1pm, turned into 2pm. When I called him, it kept going to voicemail. I started to get concerned but just tried to tell myself that he probably didn’t have any service on the mountain. Once 4pm hit, I started to get really worried, calling his phone with no answer. Finally at around 4:30-5pm, I get a text message saying that he was home.
He had gone skiing, decided that he didn’t want to come back, took my car, and left me at the cabin. When I asked him how I was going to get home, he just told me that he already contacted our friend and he said he would do it. When I approached this friend, he said that my husband doesn’t even have his phone number and definitely didn’t contact him to ask.
Yes, I was surrounded by friends and someone could probably drive me home, but it still felt really crappy to have been left behind with honestly no regard to how I would get home or how leaving me without even telling me the plan would make me feel. If he didn’t want to be there he could have let me know.
If he didn’t want to come, he could have stayed home. But this made me feel abandoned and horrible, especially for the friend who invited us to the cabin, who I now had to tell that my husband just left me here for them to figure out what to do with. I’m just not sure what to do with this.
My friends think this is really shitty and somewhat out of character for him but they are frustrated too because they invited him to join in the celebration, and he just left without saying anything to anyone. I guess I’m just not sure what to do here or how to talk to him about this. Whenever I try, he just shuts me down and walks away. How do I approach this? Any advice is appreciated.
Here’s what people had to say to OP:
badlilbiish wrote:
Is he an add**t or something?? Cause that’s exactly some crap I would’ve done when I was using. Something’s gotta be up cause that’s crazy to do to someone you “love.”
Meow5Meow5 wrote:
I am going to be a meddlesome tart and just say it. You obviously have no idea who your husband really is. Everything he told you is a lie. He didn’t go skiing, he didn’t care about you getting home, he didn’t care you worried about him, he didn’t contact that friend. He had something else he wanted to do more than being there.
So much so that he lied and stole your car to do so. He left you to be humiliated in front of your entire friend group. The two options on my mind are add-tion and/or cheating. He would rather have his fix than have a vacation with friends or spend time with his new wife.
No one in their right mind would do what he did to you without knowingly risking divorce. He didn’t care at all. Didn’t care to lie well, be subtle about his moves or give you any plausible information. No one who loves you would do this to you.
Don’t be his idiot for one more day. Stop talking to him at all. Call a divorce lawyer and stay with a close friend or family. Your husband is a stranger, he abandoned you and stole your car. Lying about whatever he was really doing. You have no idea what this person is capable of.
Janetinspain wrote:
That is an absolute dealbreaker. Period. OP you need to have enough self respect to call this one off. HE IS A CRAPPY HUSBAND. All of your friends are right. You need to walk away from this one without a second thought. Till shit-for-brains that he needs to have all of his stuff moved out before you get home and that anything that’s left is going out the front door in a pile.
How in the world can you not be sure what do do? You should be FURIOUS. You should be completely heartbroken. You should END THIS for good. The fact that he refuses to even address that he ABANDONED YOU is even more of a red flag than all the other ones. Please OP find your spine. Walk away. There’s not coming back from this. Period.
No_preparation_379 wrote:
I’m an introvert and I would never do that to my SO. I can see a few hours skiing to decompress alone from a large group. Introverts/highly sensitive people need time to decompress.
However, leaving is inexcusable. Plus, these were people that he knew and not a bunch of random people that he just met. There is something more going on than being an introvert. I don’t know what, but being an introvert is not an excuse.
jellybeans1396 wrote:
Wtf?!!! I would be furious if my partner ever pulled something like this. Honestly this is a horrible thing to do to your partner. He didn’t communicate to you all day, abandoned you on a group trip, lied to you about organising your ride home. What a jerk! This is break-up territory for me honestly.
