Hello
I need an outsiders perspective on this. I try to be understanding, but I am fuming. I think someone who is not living in this apartment would have a more neutral view on this.
The situation: We live in a 3 bedroom apartment with 3 parties. We are all students and pay equal amounts of rent. I am Winston, and the other two are Josh and Sara. Josh spends half his week and most weekends and his girlfriends place. He mostly out of the picture. That just leaves Sara and myself.
For me I see this is a living arrangement, because it is. I am friendly with everyone but I keep some distance. I usually spend my days in the library, lectures or at home gaming. Door usually open unless I play with friends or have my gf over.
So yesterday Sara approached me with a request. But it felt more like a demand. Her brothers are coming to visit. And since her family does not know she is living with two guys (She is coming from a Muslim family who might see this as a big deal), she wants to keep it a secret. She is asking me to leave the apartment next weekend and move all my toiletries into my room.
The problem for my side are simple: I do not have a place to go. I am not asking my gf to spend the weekend at her place. She is visiting her family this week and won’t be back until next week. We are not at the stage of the relationship where this is something reasonable to ask. If the roles were reversed, I would probably say yes but feel very awkward about this. So… I told Sara that. Where am I supposed to stay? Sleep in the library? She kinda dismissively turned around and told me “That is your problem to solve”. That attitude right there pissed me off beyond words.
I am in a pickle. On one hand I am livid. I want to tell her to mind her own business and just deal with the fact that she has male roommates. But Josh – who is closer with Sara and agreed already to spend the time away, reminded me to have an open mind about her situation.
I do not feel like spending 150-200 Euros – money that I do not have – on a hotel when I am paying rent. But Sara already told me that she expects me to solve it by myself. She won’t pay for a hotel. Which leads me to the question… WIBTA if I tell Sara to just suck it?
On a different note, with this happening I am already starting to look for a new apartment. This is not the first unreasonable request, but the previous ones where tiny in comparison. Like asking me to please store my toothbrush in my room because she does not like neon-yellow as a colour. Gives her a headache every morning. Ended up buying a new brush early.
Update1:
Thank you for the replies and some DMs I have recieved. I have decided on a plan of action. I will tell her no. I will tell her that I do not have the money to pay for a hotel, that I do not have a place I can simply crash on. I will also have Josh sit in. I have posted a message in the group chat effectively calling for a meeting tonight.
I will explain my situation calmly and why I do not intend to leave on my own dime. That I am happy to play a role in the family visit. To actively show that I have no personal ties with Sara by minding my own business. I like the petty ideas but I am not the type of person to pour gas onto the fire.
Further more, I have put out feelers to look for a new apartment with some friends from university. One friend is looking to move out from his parents place and we get along fine gaming. I think this is the point at which the drama is getting too expensive on my mind. So a clean cut is the best option.
