AITA? Or more, am I overreacting?

I’m a FTM with a 4 week old. My husband and I have been careful with visitors because of flu season and whatnot, but we also understand we can’t keep her from people forever so we just have some basic ground rules in the house. Wash your hands, no cologne or perfume, don’t kiss the baby, and don’t hold her near your mouth because that’s the same effin thing and you might as well just snog her if you’re gunna put her mouth inches from yours. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

My step dad is awkward. Always has been. But, he’s obsessed with our NB, and wants to visit all the time. He’s starting to really annoy me because he is the only visitor we’ve had who can’t seem to follow these rules, and/or just can’t read the room.

As soon as he walks in our house, he washes his hands and immediately walks toward me with his arms out, intending to just take my baby away from me. When I politely decline, he will then ask. If she’s been particularly cranky, I will say no, because if she’s sleeping in my arms I’d prefer it stay that way.

Tonight he came over and our daughter was asleep in our room. Right away “where’s the baby?” to which I reply, she’s asleep. Then right on cue she wakes up from her nap, so I go into our bedroom and he follows me… then asks to hold her, I say no, she’s been a bit cranky today and was feeling warm/clammy, spitting up more than normal and feeling gassy, so I’d like to just hang on to her tonight. Fine. I then take her to her room to change her diaper, he follows me. It sounded like she was still tooting a bit so I asked if he could watch her while I quickly went to the washroom incase she pooped some more, he says sure. I come back not even 2 minutes later and he has 1. Not changed her diaper (not that I expected him to but that was my intention when I brought her there in the first place) and 2. Brought her out into the living room and is trying to nuzzle her against his cheek with his scratchy stubble. She immediately starts crying and I almost forcefully had to grab her back from him, reminded him not to hold her so close to his face, was visibly annoyed with him, and he seemed to not notice one bit.

Now I don’t trust her with him at all. I get uncomfortable when he comes over and I don’t want him to hold her. Nobody else makes me feel this way. Most people will ask once, or not at all to hold her. They hold her when she is offered. Even saying that makes me upset because she’s a PERSON. Not a doll! She’s MY tiny human who I made from scratch and it blows my mind when people think they just have the right to take her whenever they want, especially when I’ve expressed my concerns about flu season, and stated that I’m not comfortable with her being held close to the mouth, etc.

I feel terrible because he’s been in my life since I was 4 years old, but I’ve never seen this side of him before and I am almost 100% certain it is just blatant cluelessness and not intentional disrespect, but it feels incredibly disrespectful nonetheless. It makes me not want him to come over at all, because it feels like as soon as I leave the room he will cross a line.

Am I overreacting? ….. If not, how would you approach this?

(My husband works away and is gone currently so I did not have him home to advocate for me otherwise he definitely would have)