My birthday is January 17th. It happens to fall on a Saturday this year.
I consider my husband’s family my family and they are the ones I’m closest with. When he and I started dating, many of our activities were “the 8 of us”. That includes me, my husband, his aunt and uncle and two sets of cousins (not kids of this particular aunt and uncle). We all lived in the closest proximity compared to other family, so we always hung out together, went to events together, dinners, etc. We are all very close…or used to be. For the purposes of this story, we will refer to them as aunt, uncle, cousin 1, wife 1, cousin 2 and wife 2.
Aunt asked me last week what I wanted for my birthday. Me and my husband along with cousin 2 and wife 2 have had kids in the last 4 years. We haven’t done an 8 of us outing in a long time. I told her I don’t want any gifts. I just want the 8 of us to get together for dinner. I told my husband the same and even suggested a couple different restaurants that are kid friendly.
Today, I get a text from aunt who let me know cousin 2 just got a firefighter job he has been trying to get for probably 5 years. This is exciting news! She proceeds to tell me that wife 2 is planning a surprise party to celebrate ON MY BIRTHDAY. She says my husband didn’t get a text out to the group, so they weren’t sure what he had planned.
Then wife 2 texts me and wife 1 to tell us she is throwing a party on Saturday at 6pm (didn’t explain what it was for) and said “we can celebrate your birthday too, Amy”. I responded and told her to ask my husband because he was supposed to be planning dinner, which it appears did not happen. I wasn’t sure if we could make it or not.
Wife 2 texts my husband and asks if he wants to do a combined party for me and cousin 2. Cousin 2 doesn’t have a birthday until October, so my husband was confused. He asked what we are celebrating cousin 2 for. She explains and then says, “maybe we can celebrate him and then go to dinner for Amy’s birthday”.
So, now, we would be driving to Tioga for a surprise party at 6pm and then go to dinner in Denton at what? 9pm??? NO
I told my husband that I find it rude that aunt didn’t speak up and suggest another day for the party knowing it was my birthday and what I wanted for my birthday. Instead, she suggested the 8 of us get together the day before or after my birthday. While this is a huge deal that cousin 2 got this job and I want to celebrate with him, I don’t find it right to do so on what should be my day. I told my husband we will get a babysitter and just the two of us will go celebrate my day. I am no longer interested in dinner with the 8 of us.
AITA for being selfish about the day chosen for this sudden surprise party? I’m older and while some people feel I shouldn’t really make a big deal about my birthday, I am really hurt by what has transpired.
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